Nudging and Gushing

you would love Randi.

she's one of those people who gush love. through silly words (like "dead sea squirrels"), amazing acts (like peeling herself out of bed to surprise me with an americano waaay too early in the morning) or just coming near to squeeze my hand with reassurance, she oozes love all over me.

and it happened again this morning, like being slimed in "You Can't Do That On Television" (which I was never officially allowed to watch). we met to talk about wedding plans, which to me consist of a very large toddy, a few head-in-the-hand hair pullings, mumbles of "i hate money," and a few things jotted on paper (which i'd later find i wrote down three times before).

but Randi, oh Randi. it's like God lending you his best friend for the day.

she came with her smile, a hug and a homemade wedding binder for me, in which she essentially downloaded every wedding thought in my head, filled in the gaps with much essential information of which i was quite clueless, a calendar countdown decorated in true Randi fashion ("N+N=love") and delegated responsibilites. i need her in my life.

driving away from our time together, i smiled thinking about her, wondering what kind of friend am i.

is there anyone who needs me like i need Randi? not in a pathetic or overbearing way, but the "we humans complete each other" way. one of the sweetest times in my life was one of the hardest, a time when i needed certain people close and they needed me just as near. we kept each other alive by sharing our need and allowing our own to be met by each other. i guess that's not profound. it's community, really. but the lack of what once was always has a way of showing itself as new and profound.

Randi reminds me to nudge.

i want to be like my friend, gently nudging that person, showing my care, assurance that if/when there's a need, i'll be there. and not only be there, but gush love on them until they almost can't handle it, believe it.

just like He does.